The Rantings and Complaints of a Nobody*updated*

Yes I’m gay. Yes, I’m awkward and clumsy, and a bit girly at times. Yes, I am sometimes slow and not the brightest person around. I’m not the fastest, nor am I the biggest. In all truth I am a fucking moron. I know that I will always be a nobody, but what I can’t wait for is the day when I can get lost in that.

Yes, I want you to like me. Hell, I’d love to be your friend. I try to be one, the best one that I can be. I dont think that I ask for much, but obviously I do. What’s too much? What could be worse than what I’m getting and receiving right now. If I werent such a candy ass I’d hurt myself. Maybe then eh?

You want me to shut up. I’ll try. You want me to behave different, less awkward? I’ll try. You want me to be one of the guys? I’ll try. Just dont leave me alone, and dont make me feel fucking inferior. I try my best, but it isnt good enough for you or for anyone. And you honestly wonder why I fucking hate myself?

*updated* I woke up fine, but the air is still thick with tension, but that’s alright. That’s part of what it means to be human and imperfect, and to be friends with imperfect people in an imperfect world. As I lay in bed last night trying to sleep I gave myself some advice, and I spoke it aloud because I knew that it needed to be said: Imagine a perfect world , but know that it will never be.