some goals or dreams or somethings

I went to my great grandmother’s funeral today, on my Dad’s side. It was sad, but it wasnt sad enough to cry alot over (I did my share of crying on Monday after I heard that she had passed.) But it was very nice to see my dad’s family once more, though I typically see them every Christmas holiday, and some closer relatives numerous times over the year. But one thing that I noticed, was my desire to get to know some of them more deeply. Mainly, my Uncle Charles, a man I admire for the sole reason that he is a good man, a man filled with compassion and understanding. But also for the fact that he is a homosexual. And all my family knows that he is, and they love him still. It fills me with hope, and a great desire to get to know him, and to hear his story.

One of the biggest, and greatest regrets in my life is the fact that I have not spent nearly enough time with my dad’s family as I did with my mother’s. These are all men and women who have experienced life, far longer than I.

On the way home my best friend asked me what my goals are for this year, and besides the hope, and the necessity of improved grades, I long also to spend more time with my dad’s family, hopefully a trip to Tulsa some weekend. I want to grow closer to them, especially with my Dad’s departure so soon. See, my Dad’s leaving to fulfill one of his life’s greatest dreams – to leave behind Wichita, and to head to New Mexico. This dream, years in the making, will come to fruition in a little over a week.

And lastly, I’d like, some way or other, to find some measure of happiness or contentment in my life. I dont know what it looks like, but it is something that I am in dire need of.

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